One comment on “Love really means sex

  1. Your posts spoke to me. I’m turning 24 and live here in San Francisco, Bay Area. I’m so tired of feeling alone and it seems like there is no one who can see what I see. I had never really thought about my attraction to the same sex and being Catholic until very recently.

    To be honest, my faith in God wavered for years and even now it’s difficult for me to juggle my faith and sexuality. I don’t think it’s right that I have feelings for other men, I want to devote myself to God as this life is just a short ride, and nevertheless I want to save my soul. I have faith there is something greater than this life, one where we are truly free. I’m scared and I don’t want to perish for disobeying God’s word. I love the gift of life and choice but why must I suffer with SSA? I know that I will never feel right about myself because of my faith, and the thought depresses me inside.

    And to make matters worse, I’ve been in only a few relationships with men before and they all fall to pieces. Most men just aren’t interested, completely corrupt or refuse to stay faithful to me. And most don’t have faith in God and his only begotten son Jesus Christ, our Lord and savior.

    After all these experiences I wonder if I might just have to sacrifice my sexual desires and live a celibate life, this absolutely depresses me. I truly wish I could love another man and give my undivided care and devotion to him and serve God by preaching his word. But I’m just a huge hypocrite.

    I feel so weak and totally lost. I admit I’m celibate but I do just as much harm with gay porn. And I know this is completely wrong as well. I feel like an addict. In fact, I understand my desires are akin to those other vices, if not worse.

    This is my struggle. I combat it by doing my best to stay focused on becoming a professional, taking classes that will show me how to use my head and hands to make a true living. I don’t go to mass, but I try to pray and give God glory for the blessing of life that I receive daily.

    How do we live with ourselves?

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