In the 6 months that I have been reading widely and talking with many different people, one fact has become apparent: sometimes no matter how many friends you have around you, how loving a family you have, even someone who loves you like no other, even your own strong faith in God, but sometimes even with all that you can still feel alone.
It is very confusing. I don’t understand how this can be, and yet it is. I have never been so alone in all my life. Try as I might, I have had real trouble shaking this. I have prayed hard. Many friends and family are praying hard for me. I keep myself around people as much as possible. And yet, these feelings persist.
My life is floating. I am unable to live life as I did before, and confusion has set it. The path ahead seems very isolated and alone.
Those who are not afflicted by this kind of loneliness are blessed. But they can never understand truly what it is. Until I arrived at this point, I too was blissfully ignorant of how it felt, or what it meant.
Many lack any sort of compassion, resorting to trite responses, blaming the individual for their loneliness as if that individual made a purposeful decision to be/feel lonely.
When I say that some people lack compassion, I do not say that they do this on purpose either. Compassion is learnt. Those who have the “perfect happy” life, and live in complete comfort all their lives will never understand the suffering of another. Compassion is learned through experience.
Perhaps thats why Christ understands us so well. He became one of us. He experienced loneliness, isolation, temptation, deep sorrow, fear, doubt, scorn, anger, pain, despair. A whole gamut of emotions. And he lived amongst all types in the society of his time.
What to take out of this little sermon? I write this stuff, but I still don’t understand it. I know very little.
All I can do, is to continue to have faith…