Gay Catholics

Firstly, I would like to say I am eternally grateful this service exists here in Australia. I am sure that it helps so many people on a regular basis.

Today, I made a call to Lifeline. Over the last few months, I have considered calling Lifeline to talk with someone, but I have never been big on the idea of counselling. I am a very private person, and I thought I would have difficulty to discuss such intimate details of myself with someone else.

But, I was quite surprised in the end how easy it became as the conversation drew on. 

I have not been coping well with stress at the moment. It is drawing to the end of the semester, there are lots of assignments due, and exams approaching, and recent events have just taken so much out of me, there is barely anything left to deal with all this.

I woke this morning extremely depressed, with a high amount of anxiety. I dropped my mother and sister off at the station, and returned home to an empty house. At the moment, this is the worst thing for me, to be alone. I received an sms from a very close friend, and sent off a reply. I logged into my computer, saw a friend on msn. He is at work, so we only chatted briefly. His fiance is was on facebook, and likewise she is at work. We chatted briefly, but understandable they are busy. My sister also gave me a quick call from work. I had tried to call her earlier but she was unavailable. 

The net result of all of this, is I am alone. Isolated. I said a prayer. It still did not change how I felt.

I looked up the Lifeline number on their website. I wasn’t sure if I should call. Would I be tying the line up for someone who needed it more, but I saw on the website, it is also for people feeling isolated or alone. After some consideration, I got the courage to pick up the phone and dial the number. After a quick announcement, an operator picked up the call. It all happened so fast, I was tempted to hang up in panic. But I stayed on, and eventually over a significant period of time, I had recalled my story, warts and all. Some details took particular courage. 

But it did help. I did not feel alone. 

The next steps, see university counsellor, see a LifeLine counsellor. I will have to do the former, and still thinking about the latter.

But, I cannot stress how important these services are to society. It’s hard to appreciate something until you need it.