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Acceptance 25 August 2008

Posted by sydcatholic80 in healing, love.
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Acceptance is monumental state to arrive at. It is making peace with where you are, and who you are, and where you came from, and where you are going. It is facing fear, anger, hate, melancholy, confusion; a maelstrom of powerful emotions, and exhaling them, transferring them to the air to be carried away. 

How does one find Acceptance? When placed at the cross roads of life, what do you do? Where do you turn? When do you finally close the book on one part of your life, and begin the next volume?

How do you make sense of what was, and what is? Are we meant to make sense of it?

Is time the key ingredient? How much has to pass before you begin to feel acceptance? 

It is this river of questions that someone who has had their life shaken up is trying to swim through.

Eventually, the rapids give way to calm water, and it is here one can begin to discover peace within, and the rest falls into place. 

I don’t promise it makes sense, but at least you can continue the journey, leaving behind the excess weight you do not need when continuing the ascent of life.

I have found calmer waters, and am able to tread the water. I can see what was, and what is.

And I have found the key ingredient is faith. I have to have faith in something greater than I. I have to have faith that I have had personal salvation. 

Love can blind us to bad situations, make us accept things we would not normally accept. God’s love is not blind, and he loves us so much. A close friend once told me, we have to believe we are loved and are lovable. 

Have I found acceptance? I can’t say I have found it entirely, but I am beginning to learn what it is.

Sheep at Dawn - NSW Australia

Sheep at Dawn - NSW Australia

Loneliness…Compassion 10 August 2008

Posted by sydcatholic80 in Uncategorized.
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In the 6 months that I have been reading widely and talking with many different people, one fact has become apparent: sometimes no matter how many friends you have around you, how loving a family you have, even someone who loves you like no other, even your own strong faith in God, but sometimes even with all that you can still feel alone.

It is very confusing. I don’t understand how this can be, and yet it is. I have never been so alone in all my life. Try as I might, I have had real trouble shaking this. I have prayed hard. Many friends and family are praying hard for me. I keep myself around people as much as possible. And yet, these feelings persist.

My life is floating. I am unable to live life as I did before, and confusion has set it. The path ahead seems very isolated and alone. 

Those who are not afflicted by this kind of loneliness are blessed. But they can never understand truly what it is. Until I arrived at this point, I too was blissfully ignorant of how it felt, or what it meant.

Many lack any sort of compassion, resorting to trite responses, blaming the individual for their loneliness as if that individual made a purposeful decision to be/feel lonely. 

When I say that some people lack compassion, I do not say that they do this on purpose either. Compassion is learnt. Those who have the “perfect happy” life, and live in complete comfort all their lives will never understand the suffering of another. Compassion is learned through experience.

Perhaps thats why Christ understands us so well. He became one of us. He experienced loneliness, isolation, temptation, deep sorrow, fear, doubt, scorn, anger, pain, despair. A whole gamut of emotions. And he lived amongst all types in the society of his time.

What to take out of this little sermon? I write this stuff, but I still don’t understand it. I know very little.

All I can do, is to continue to have faith…

Another story: Catholic and Gay – Thoughts on the essential nature of love 29 May 2008

Posted by sydcatholic80 in Stories, homosexuality, relationships, same sex attraction.
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Hi all,

I just wanted to draw your attention to this article I came across, written by David Morris. As I’m not sure I can republish it here, I have provided an excerpt and highly recommend you read the whole article.

I came to chastity because I loved my partner so much. I’m a veteran of a 17-year-long committed relationship with another man. It’s a deep friendship, and it has been since almost the moment we met. It was sexually active for the first seven years, and then—after I became a Christian, after I began reflecting on what Scripture and tradition had taught for 2,000 years—I went to my partner and said, “I love you. Can we please stop having sex?”

A good article which reflects on the non-sexual parts of a close relationship. Proof that SSA people can and do have meaningful, long term, and if not , life long relationships.

Homosexuality – The scapegoat of choice used by Religion 27 May 2008

Posted by sydcatholic80 in homosexuality, same sex attraction.
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27/05/2008 Update:

I would just like to say here to my readers, I am not attacking religious institutions for their teachings, nor do I intend disrespect or disobedience to the Catholic teachings. I am simply raising the fact of unfair discrimination and hatred towards people just because they are homosexual. This is not what Jesus would do. And we have history to show it is not right: Treatment of Jews in Nazi Germany, Slavery and violence towards African Americans, even the genocide in Bosnia. I think the same Christian attitude of love, respect and tolerance for the person should be shown towards homosexual people too.

 

I am writing this post after having read many religious discussion boards and other articles on the internet.

I am hugely concerned at the language and tone when used to discuss homosexuality. It seems people like to tar homosexual people with the same brush, used for criminal acts such as rape, pedophilia, murder and the like.

Words such as vile and disgusting are commonly part of discussion on the topic. Generalisations and assumptions are made. There is a lot of hate and prejudice out there. There is a lack of the respect, compassion and sensitivity called for by the Catechism, and a lot of the unjust discrimination is taking place. Even as far as 9/11 being blamed on homosexuals. There is a lot of sin in the world, much more abhorrent than simply being homosexual. This is sheer madness.

The recent child sex abuse scandal has likewise led to a witch-hunt, conveniently labeling the perpetrator of evil as homosexuality. I am not defending the actions of the offenders, on the contrary it is heinous to harm a child in anyway. 

It is such bigotry and ignorance that lead to assumptions of homosexuality, and judgements made on people who are SSA. Is this not similar to the way Jews were portrayed as the evil in Germany? And the “black” people in the world? Anyone who is different, for whom we make no attempt to understand.

I seem to have had the misfortune of being born SSA, something which I had no choice over. Does this imply that I was also born evil? Do not all men have the capacity for evil? Why is it that Church’s are not hunting down men who commit adultery against their wives and families? Or those that have free sex with many women, even prostitutes? Or all the men who masturbate and view pornography? What about all the Catholics and Christians who download computer programs, CD’s and DVD’s from the internet? This is theft after all. Somehow being a homosexual is heinous, to be equated with rape or paedophilia.

I am not saying I am perfect, but I am not inherently evil. I have a strong faith in God, and am a very spiritual person. I participate in my church community, and give my time to help anyone who needs it. I have been celibate for a while now. If I am trying, why should anyone look at me differently, and judge me to be evil, or more capable of evil than anyone else?

Ultimately God is the Judge, and he can see into our hearts, and read our minds. He knows what is inside.

I know, I am a person full of love, faith, and tolerance for the diversity of God’s creation. I am human, but I am trying hard, and praying that I can live out the truth and values of my faith.

I am hoping that over time, people will learn, and that the words in the Catechism of the Catholic Church are understood and practiced by all Christians. I hope that bigotry, ignorance, intolerance, hatred and violence towards homosexuality will be replaced with love, compassion, support and understanding. It is a lonely path to walk, and SSA people need all the help we can get.

More stories 19 May 2008

Posted by sydcatholic80 in Uncategorized.
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Hi all.

Still googling, or browsing through wordpress sites, I have found another raw, honest blog about a gay Christian, and how they are dealing with their life.

http://corey61.wordpress.com/

I will post the links here to posts I have read from him:

Ex-gay…or not?

I Choose Celibacy

SWM – Single White Male

I can identify with the emotions Corey has honestly shared in his stories. I must say, having read these I can see I have a long way to go yet in finding true peace, but at least I know I am on the right path.

Corey lives alone, and this raises the question: Can two SSA people live together, sharing their lives, and still have a life that is good in God’s eyes? Does God expect SSA people to live alone without a partner at all?

From all the literature available, it seems it is only the homosexual act that is sinful. To me this leaves open the possibility that two SSA people can live together, and love each other, and as long as both can agree and strive to remain celibate, this relationship would not be regarded as sinful.

Also another grey area is kissing. In regular relationships, people are not expected to refrain from kissing before they are married. So it seems reasonable to me, that two SSA people kissing are not committing a sin. If this is considered sinful, why? Does this mean all other heterosexual couples who engage in premarital kissing are likewise guilty of sin?

 

I turn this over to you…

Prayer Circle 18 May 2008

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Hi all,

Just wanted to let you know I have started a Prayer Circle Page, which you can access from the tabs above, or find it here->

Just add a comment to get added to it.

I will keep you in my prayers, please keep me in yours, and as a community, keep each other in our prayers.

Some uplifting words… 17 May 2008

Posted by sydcatholic80 in Uncategorized.
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To those that are struggling, I found this post while trawling wordpress.

The authors ending to the post offers some positive help for us struggling to to bear and comprehend our burdens.

I might read more of this site when I get a chance.

Dreadnought – A place of robust discussion 17 May 2008

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27 May 2008 Update:

I felt I needed to review this post. I have done a lot of reading on Dreadnought now, and also on the FaceBook group “Dreadnoughters”.

I have been reading widely, and now have a little more background which is making it easier to read and understand the posts on dreadnought. While the format is a little different, I am beginning to appreciate it.

I’ve yet to contribute anything to either of the forums, but I did write to John, and he did give me some helpful answers.

Upshot is, dreadnought is a worthy place to look for answers. I’m sorry if this post was misleading.

 

Well in my continued searching for answers, I came across this blog:

http://johnheard.blogspot.com/

While it may not appeal to all, or tell you what you want to hear, it does raise healthy debate on many pertinent issues.

Sometimes it is hard to take in, or understand all the arguments, and I can only blame that on the fact the author is a Lawyer! :-) (no offence intended).

However, I will try to read through the articles on my quest for knowledge.