Loneliness…Compassion 10 August 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in Uncategorized.Tags: catholic, compassion, faith, loneliness, religion
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In the 6 months that I have been reading widely and talking with many different people, one fact has become apparent: sometimes no matter how many friends you have around you, how loving a family you have, even someone who loves you like no other, even your own strong faith in God, but sometimes even with all that you can still feel alone.
It is very confusing. I don’t understand how this can be, and yet it is. I have never been so alone in all my life. Try as I might, I have had real trouble shaking this. I have prayed hard. Many friends and family are praying hard for me. I keep myself around people as much as possible. And yet, these feelings persist.
My life is floating. I am unable to live life as I did before, and confusion has set it. The path ahead seems very isolated and alone.
Those who are not afflicted by this kind of loneliness are blessed. But they can never understand truly what it is. Until I arrived at this point, I too was blissfully ignorant of how it felt, or what it meant.
Many lack any sort of compassion, resorting to trite responses, blaming the individual for their loneliness as if that individual made a purposeful decision to be/feel lonely.
When I say that some people lack compassion, I do not say that they do this on purpose either. Compassion is learnt. Those who have the “perfect happy” life, and live in complete comfort all their lives will never understand the suffering of another. Compassion is learned through experience.
Perhaps thats why Christ understands us so well. He became one of us. He experienced loneliness, isolation, temptation, deep sorrow, fear, doubt, scorn, anger, pain, despair. A whole gamut of emotions. And he lived amongst all types in the society of his time.
What to take out of this little sermon? I write this stuff, but I still don’t understand it. I know very little.
All I can do, is to continue to have faith…
Counseling, WYD and other matters. 25 July 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in homosexuality, same sex attraction.Tags: abuse victims, catholic, christian, christianity, compassion, Counseling, gay, gay catholic, same sex attracted, same sex attraction, SSA, World Youth Day, WYD
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It takes a long time for wounds to heal, especially when the cut is 5 years deep. And it doesn’t take a lot to reopen them either. Luckily, if you are surrounded by caring people, they are able to help you through. A a little professional assistance can help too, especially when that outside help is emotionally removed from the whole situation.
In all my years, I have always been afraid to seek outside help for my problems, but on this occasion, I have had to accept it lest I was to remain in a debilitated state.
I am still not convinced, but I will admit I have been feeling better for it.
WYD occurred last week, unfortunately I missed much of it. My family was quite involved, being volunteers over the city. And many friends were hosts to pilgrims. Good reports all around.
There were a number of SSA support events too, two of which I knew about. One official, one unofficial. I attended neither of them, although a part of me thinks I missed out on a chance. Spiritually, I still have a lot of growing to do.
I was disappointed by a certain lack of compassion on the part of the Church in the way they handled the abuse victims. Cardinal Pell seemed extremely cold, and his whole demeanor in the staged press conferences was one of utter inconvenience, irritation and disinterest in the plight of those genuinely wronged. And after the secretive event held with four unnamed abused victims, he took on a tone of vindication, and practically washed his hands saying all had been put right! I think there is a long way for the Church to come in reconciling these matters.
And the answer, might I add, is not a witch-hunt to find SSA priests. I’m sure a great many SSA priests live out their spiritual lives in complete communion with God, and do not seek sinful passions in the way a small minority have done.
Over the last few weeks, I have befriended a Religious Order Priest (as opposed to a Diocesan Priest) out there in the world. Gives me hope that there is compassion for us out there. And for the last few months, I have another good SSA friend out there in the world, part of a lay religious order who has offered untold friendship, support and spiritual advice.
I am not anti Church, I am seeking better understanding and compassion from those out there who do not know what it is like to walk in these shoes.
For a short time I participated in the Courage On Line (COL) yahoo group. Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion it’s not for me, and I don’t think I would be prepared to attend a local chapter if one started in Sydney. It probably does helps some people, but I find the constant reminder that we are broken, fallen people very unhelpful. That is not to say that I’m perfect, or that we start telling lies to suit ourselves, but I feel that people in my situation are emotionally fragile, and need some better support other than the trite, throw-away cliches that are consistently used.
To those on my prayer circle page, I continue to keep you in my prayers. Thank you for your prayers too.
Until my next post…
Catholic Church and 2nd class citizens 23 June 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in homosexuality, same sex attraction.Tags: catholic, catholicism, christian, christianity, compassion, gay, gay catholic, homosexual, homosexuality, marriage, religion, same sex attracted, same sex attraction, sin, SSA
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I have been reading a lot of writing on the internet in regards to the Catholic Church’s response to SSA (gay) Priests. It is an appalling state of affairs that the Church is scapegoating SSA priests as the excuse for the sexual abuse of children that has come to light in recent years.
I can honestly say, that I find the very idea of any form of child abuse extremely appalling, let alone sexual abuse. But the Church seems convinced that homosexuality is the cause of paedophilia. It’s very cruel for those of us out there who are SSA to be lumped in like that. The result of this action is to foster hatred for people who are homosexual people.
I suppose it comes with the territory, where sins of murder and rape are commonly compared to homosexual acts, usually with the latter being more heinous than anything else.
The other common thing to say is that homosexual’s are “fallen”, and thus just more sinful than anyone else.
The church is certainly discriminatory and has classes of people. Even disabled people are a lesser class. Just recently a story about a couple where the groom was a paraplegic, and hence impotent, and the Bishop denied them the opportunity to marry.
This just opened up a whole can of worms for me. Reading deeper into church teaching on marraige, it seems the Sacrament of marriage is not complete until it is consumated! This is in canon law.
Note that the same standard does not apply for an infertile couple. So they can marry, but their union will not include children, ie not open to procreation, but that is ok. Its the sex that is important. Its what completes the sacrament. And there is a thread where things get so involved inside the bedrooms of couples as to what is acceptable sex? Permissible sex
I think the whole gay marriage debate should be closed. SSA people don’t need marriage. They just need legal protection in terms of finances, next of kin, visitation rights in hospital etc. And really, these are not only for homosexual couples, but for any two people who are living together, eg two sisters, or close friends.
Some of the real fire in my mind has come from the Catholic Forum. I’ll post the links here to the discussion. I have found some of the topics, as well as the responses of ordinary Catholic people very striking in their closed-minded, judgmental manner.
Homosexual Intercourse vs. Suicide
Catholics: Can homosexual sex acts really be commited in “invincible ignorance” ?
So is it impossible to argue against same-sex marriage?
There is a certain thoughtlessness, lack of charity and compassion from many people who do not understand what kind of emotional turmoil it is to be SSA and Catholic. They just like to lecture to you and quote biblical passages, or use trite catchphrases like “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”. Even when you are not arguing against Catholic and Scriptural teaching.
I guess what I am getting at here is that many Catholics do not like to follow this line from the Catechism:
“2358 … They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided…”
Just a rant I guess.
Homosexuality – The scapegoat of choice used by Religion 27 May 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in homosexuality, same sex attraction.Tags: Add new tag, catholic, catholicism, christian, christianity, compassion, evil, faith, gay, homosexual, homosexuality, judgement, loneliness, religion, same sex attraction, sprituality, SSA, support
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27/05/2008 Update:
I would just like to say here to my readers, I am not attacking religious institutions for their teachings, nor do I intend disrespect or disobedience to the Catholic teachings. I am simply raising the fact of unfair discrimination and hatred towards people just because they are homosexual. This is not what Jesus would do. And we have history to show it is not right: Treatment of Jews in Nazi Germany, Slavery and violence towards African Americans, even the genocide in Bosnia. I think the same Christian attitude of love, respect and tolerance for the person should be shown towards homosexual people too.
I am writing this post after having read many religious discussion boards and other articles on the internet.
I am hugely concerned at the language and tone when used to discuss homosexuality. It seems people like to tar homosexual people with the same brush, used for criminal acts such as rape, pedophilia, murder and the like.
Words such as vile and disgusting are commonly part of discussion on the topic. Generalisations and assumptions are made. There is a lot of hate and prejudice out there. There is a lack of the respect, compassion and sensitivity called for by the Catechism, and a lot of the unjust discrimination is taking place. Even as far as 9/11 being blamed on homosexuals. There is a lot of sin in the world, much more abhorrent than simply being homosexual. This is sheer madness.
The recent child sex abuse scandal has likewise led to a witch-hunt, conveniently labeling the perpetrator of evil as homosexuality. I am not defending the actions of the offenders, on the contrary it is heinous to harm a child in anyway.
It is such bigotry and ignorance that lead to assumptions of homosexuality, and judgements made on people who are SSA. Is this not similar to the way Jews were portrayed as the evil in Germany? And the “black” people in the world? Anyone who is different, for whom we make no attempt to understand.
I seem to have had the misfortune of being born SSA, something which I had no choice over. Does this imply that I was also born evil? Do not all men have the capacity for evil? Why is it that Church’s are not hunting down men who commit adultery against their wives and families? Or those that have free sex with many women, even prostitutes? Or all the men who masturbate and view pornography? What about all the Catholics and Christians who download computer programs, CD’s and DVD’s from the internet? This is theft after all. Somehow being a homosexual is heinous, to be equated with rape or paedophilia.
I am not saying I am perfect, but I am not inherently evil. I have a strong faith in God, and am a very spiritual person. I participate in my church community, and give my time to help anyone who needs it. I have been celibate for a while now. If I am trying, why should anyone look at me differently, and judge me to be evil, or more capable of evil than anyone else?
Ultimately God is the Judge, and he can see into our hearts, and read our minds. He knows what is inside.
I know, I am a person full of love, faith, and tolerance for the diversity of God’s creation. I am human, but I am trying hard, and praying that I can live out the truth and values of my faith.
I am hoping that over time, people will learn, and that the words in the Catechism of the Catholic Church are understood and practiced by all Christians. I hope that bigotry, ignorance, intolerance, hatred and violence towards homosexuality will be replaced with love, compassion, support and understanding. It is a lonely path to walk, and SSA people need all the help we can get.
