Some excellent reading from my sister in faith at Emphatic Asterisk 10 August 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in Stories, homosexuality, same sex attraction.Tags: catholicism, christianity, gay, gay catholic, religion, same sex attraction, SSA
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I have been very much in hibernation over the winter, but I am waking up now 
Lindsay has been doing some wonderful writing over on her blog, so I am posting links here to her recent writing. It is definitely worth a read, including the the comments. There is a lot to be gained from the discussion that goes on, and Lindsay’s posts attract some great discussion. Anyhow, here they are.
What your church can gain from Homosexuals
Gay people don’t need you to fix them
Happy reading.
Josh
Catholic Church and 2nd class citizens 23 June 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in homosexuality, same sex attraction.Tags: catholic, catholicism, christian, christianity, compassion, gay, gay catholic, homosexual, homosexuality, marriage, religion, same sex attracted, same sex attraction, sin, SSA
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I have been reading a lot of writing on the internet in regards to the Catholic Church’s response to SSA (gay) Priests. It is an appalling state of affairs that the Church is scapegoating SSA priests as the excuse for the sexual abuse of children that has come to light in recent years.
I can honestly say, that I find the very idea of any form of child abuse extremely appalling, let alone sexual abuse. But the Church seems convinced that homosexuality is the cause of paedophilia. It’s very cruel for those of us out there who are SSA to be lumped in like that. The result of this action is to foster hatred for people who are homosexual people.
I suppose it comes with the territory, where sins of murder and rape are commonly compared to homosexual acts, usually with the latter being more heinous than anything else.
The other common thing to say is that homosexual’s are “fallen”, and thus just more sinful than anyone else.
The church is certainly discriminatory and has classes of people. Even disabled people are a lesser class. Just recently a story about a couple where the groom was a paraplegic, and hence impotent, and the Bishop denied them the opportunity to marry.
This just opened up a whole can of worms for me. Reading deeper into church teaching on marraige, it seems the Sacrament of marriage is not complete until it is consumated! This is in canon law.
Note that the same standard does not apply for an infertile couple. So they can marry, but their union will not include children, ie not open to procreation, but that is ok. Its the sex that is important. Its what completes the sacrament. And there is a thread where things get so involved inside the bedrooms of couples as to what is acceptable sex? Permissible sex
I think the whole gay marriage debate should be closed. SSA people don’t need marriage. They just need legal protection in terms of finances, next of kin, visitation rights in hospital etc. And really, these are not only for homosexual couples, but for any two people who are living together, eg two sisters, or close friends.
Some of the real fire in my mind has come from the Catholic Forum. I’ll post the links here to the discussion. I have found some of the topics, as well as the responses of ordinary Catholic people very striking in their closed-minded, judgmental manner.
Homosexual Intercourse vs. Suicide
Catholics: Can homosexual sex acts really be commited in “invincible ignorance” ?
So is it impossible to argue against same-sex marriage?
There is a certain thoughtlessness, lack of charity and compassion from many people who do not understand what kind of emotional turmoil it is to be SSA and Catholic. They just like to lecture to you and quote biblical passages, or use trite catchphrases like “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”. Even when you are not arguing against Catholic and Scriptural teaching.
I guess what I am getting at here is that many Catholics do not like to follow this line from the Catechism:
“2358 … They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided…”
Just a rant I guess.
A blessing for those already blessed who may not know it 5 June 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in prayer.Tags: catholic, catholicism, christian, christianity, holy spirit, prayer, religion
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My very dear friend raggedblossom visited me on Monday afternoon and brought me a prayer which I am going to share with you here.
A blessing for those already blessed who may now know it
May you recognise in your life the presence, power and light of God’s Spirit accompanying your own spirit.
My you realise that you are never alone, that your own spirit connects you intimately with the spirit of everyone else and the rest of God’s creation.
May you have respect and love for your own individuality and difference.
May you realise the gift that your own uniqueness could be for you and for the world.
May you realise that you have a special desinty here, that beneath the surface of your life there is something beautiful and good and eternal going on.
May you learn to love the Spirit of Jesus within you, the Spirit who prays always on your behalf before God, like a heartbeat, even when you are unaware of it.
May you learn to love the gift of your belonging with others, to savour their love and companionship, to rejoice in their gifts and share with them your own, that together we might build the type of world that Jesus lived and died for.
May you learn to copy with tour own and others’ mistakes with compassion.
May you never give up trying to be all you were created by God to be, an image of Godself.
May the mess that you experience in life never put you off your trying.
May tou know the joy of forgiveness as you yourself forgive.
May you learn to see yourself and your life with the same delight, pride, mystery and appreciation with which God sees you in every moment.
[adapted and inspired by John O'Donoghue's 'Anam Cara', p.161]
Louis Comfort Tiffany’s window he entitled, “The Holy Spirit Window”, and completed about 1895.
A prayer for those who live alone (or feel alone) 30 May 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in prayer.Tags: catholic, catholicism, christian, christianity, gay, homosexual, homosexuality, loneliness, prayer, religion, SSA
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I came across this prayer on the net, and wanted to share it with you:
I live alone, dear Lord, stay by my side
In all my daily needs be Thou my guide.
Grant me good health, for that indeed, I pray
To carry on my work from day to day.
Keep pure my mind, my thoughts, my every deed,
Let me be kind, unselfish in my neighbor’s need.
Spare me from fire, from flood, malicious tongues,
From thieves, from fear, and evil ones.
If sickness or an accident befall,
Then humbly, Lord, I pray hear,
Thou my call, And when I’m feeling low, or in despair,
Lift up my heart and help me in my prayer.
I live alone, dear Lord, yet have no fear,
Because I feel Your Presence ever near.
Amen.
To those who feel alone, there are people out there praying for you.
Josh
More on same-sex cohabitation – Can SSA Catholics live together? 27 May 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in homosexuality, relationships, same sex attraction.Tags: catholic, catholic teaching, catholicism, chastity, christianity, cohabitation, gay issues, gy, homosexual, homosexuality, loneliness, love, relationships, religion, same sex attraction, same sex cohabitation, SSA
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In my constant search for understanding, I have joined a Catholic forum. Here is my query, and the very kind Fr. Vincent has replied so quickly.
sydcatholic80 May 25, ‘08 11:54 pm
How does a Catholic with same sex attraction cope with loneliness?
I have done much soul searching, and reading on the internet.
I accept what the Catholic Church says through the Catechism on this issue. I can accept that in upholding my faith, the Catholic Church teaches I must be celibate (as is the case for anyone who is not married). This does not trouble me.What is troubling me, and there does not seem to be answer on this point, can two Catholics who are homosexual live together in a relationship that is celibate, but filled with love and closeness? Is this sort of relationship acceptable?
It is a frightening thought to have to spend the rest of my life alone, and I am praying hard. Is my outlook so bleak? Did God intend for me to have to live my life alone?
Any guidance is greatly appreciated.
Joshua
Fr. Vincent Serpa May 26, ‘08 1:12 pm
Re: Being Catholic and Homosexual
Dear Joshua,That’s a great name you have there! The Church would frown on two people of the same sex with same sex attraction living together because it could easily be an occasion of sin for them. It would be safer it one of them did not have same sex attractions. But living with someone is no guarantee against loneliness. One can be surrounded be people and be lonely. On the other hand, one can live alone and not be lonely. The key lies in the difference between loneliness and solitude. People try to flee from loneliness, but actually seek solitude.
For the Christian, solitude is not just the absence of the commotion and activity of the crowd. It is the state of being alone while realizing that one is not alone. It comes from confronting loneliness by going inside and finding that God has been there all along. This is what the contemplative does. Reflecting on Good Friday and confronting the pain that our Savior endured for us is to begin to know what it means to be loved. It is to know the Companion of our lives who never leaves us excluded and alone. I encourage you to spend time before the tabernacle in His Eucharistic presence. You may contact me privately here by clicking on my name if you want to discuss this further. You are in my prayers.
Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.
I can understand the points he has put to me, and I plan to reflect on this. I notice, just like in my last post, that there is no scriptural basis, or Church law that prevents two people to live chaste lives together.
It might be “frowned upon”, but the Church leaves room for ones own conscience for guidance in matters where there is no explicit direction.
updated later:
I have also seen reference to creating scandal. I must say, why do we worry what our neighbour does? We cannot see into his heart and mind to know what their intent is, so how can we judge them? Should we be judging them? God is ultimately our judge. Jesus also said, remove the stake from your own eye, before removing the splinter from your brothers eye. If two people are living together, we shouldn’t be presuming sin. Even the law of the land has a presumption of innocence until proven guilty.
Life is a constant battle with sin and temptation. In reflecting on my life to date, this is very true. Now with my eyes more open than they have been for some time, I am more aware of myself, and I pray each day to remain in a state of grace.
I know I have the internal fortitude, and with my prayers, and those of my friends, family and church community, and knowing the love of God, I can overcome my temptations.
I believe though, that love is something God gave us all, and Jesus demonstrated that love repeatedly while on this earth, and through His ultimate sacrifice for us. I do not believe that my love for another is sinful. And I don’t believe He would lead me into a life of loneliness. My own conscience tells me I am capable of loving someone deeply in a chaste way. My own conscience tells me two people can love and support each other in this way. This world does not care for those who are alone, how is it fair to expect someone to then to have to live alone? I don’t believe God would condemn me for seeking out a companion for life.
I’m not trying to be provocative, nor disrespectful or disobedient to the Catholic Church and Her teachings, but I am merely trying to raise some discussion on a point, and discover the answers to my questions.
I think debate is a healthy mechanism in discovering the truth.
Well those are my thoughts for today. Always happy for comments.
Should SSA Catholic’s Have Boyfriends? – Thread on the Facebook group “Dreadnoughters” 27 May 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in homosexuality, relationships, same sex attraction.Tags: catholic, catholicism, christianity, gay, gay catholic, homosexual, homosexuality, love, relationships, religion, same sex attraction, SSA
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I decided to take a peek at John Heard’s group “Dreadnoughters” on Facebook. It has a discussion board, and I think it is fostering a lot of healthy debate on topical issues.
I found this thread “Should SSA Catholics Have Boyfriends?“.
I feel, given what was discussed here, that there is hope for SSA Catholic’s seeking to have fulfilling and holy relationships.
Erik Huntzicker had this to say at the end of the thread:
“People, and institutions, can be wrong.”
But God cannot be wrong. Catholics believe that the Catholic Church was founded by Jesus Christ, i.e. God, and therefore entrusted it with the guardianship of His truth. The moral teaching of the Church – especially when seen as also guided by the Holy Spirit – is therefore not seen as a human invention, an institutional behavior code, but as the command of God himself.
Therefore, if one stipulates to the divinity of Christ and to the fact the He founded the Catholic Church, then the Church’s teachings MUST be viewed as authoritative.
This does not mean that the Church has something to say on every little detail of life. For instance, it is clear that the Church teaches homogenital sex to be wrong. But the Church is silent on whether two men who are homosexually inclined can live together in chastity for the purposes of mutual love and support. In these cases the Church teaches the Christian to invoke prudential judgment and use his conscience – hopefully well formed – to make the best decision.
So there is considerable freedom to act within the Catholic moral framework, given that the intent of the one acting is in the spirit of Catholic moral teaching and for the greater glory of God. This is where a “faithful SSA Catholic” – or any faithful Catholic – can become mightily confused. It is expected that people of good will will disagree on many matters governed by “prudential judgment”.
Having this “externally imposed” moral structure does not relieve the Catholic of making moral decisions for himself. On the contrary, in very real ways, it forces him to do so. And it is when a person is compelled to make moral decisions contrary to his personal will or physical appetites that, as a person, he asserts those qualitites of his human being – namely reason and rational will – which distinguish himself from the rest of the created world. Therefore, rather than robbing a Christian of his human dignitiy and self-determination, the Church actually demands it and provides us with the best means of achieving it.
This thread is definitely worth a read for those of us who are feeling alone and conflicted.
Homosexuality – The scapegoat of choice used by Religion 27 May 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in homosexuality, same sex attraction.Tags: Add new tag, catholic, catholicism, christian, christianity, compassion, evil, faith, gay, homosexual, homosexuality, judgement, loneliness, religion, same sex attraction, sprituality, SSA, support
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27/05/2008 Update:
I would just like to say here to my readers, I am not attacking religious institutions for their teachings, nor do I intend disrespect or disobedience to the Catholic teachings. I am simply raising the fact of unfair discrimination and hatred towards people just because they are homosexual. This is not what Jesus would do. And we have history to show it is not right: Treatment of Jews in Nazi Germany, Slavery and violence towards African Americans, even the genocide in Bosnia. I think the same Christian attitude of love, respect and tolerance for the person should be shown towards homosexual people too.
I am writing this post after having read many religious discussion boards and other articles on the internet.
I am hugely concerned at the language and tone when used to discuss homosexuality. It seems people like to tar homosexual people with the same brush, used for criminal acts such as rape, pedophilia, murder and the like.
Words such as vile and disgusting are commonly part of discussion on the topic. Generalisations and assumptions are made. There is a lot of hate and prejudice out there. There is a lack of the respect, compassion and sensitivity called for by the Catechism, and a lot of the unjust discrimination is taking place. Even as far as 9/11 being blamed on homosexuals. There is a lot of sin in the world, much more abhorrent than simply being homosexual. This is sheer madness.
The recent child sex abuse scandal has likewise led to a witch-hunt, conveniently labeling the perpetrator of evil as homosexuality. I am not defending the actions of the offenders, on the contrary it is heinous to harm a child in anyway.
It is such bigotry and ignorance that lead to assumptions of homosexuality, and judgements made on people who are SSA. Is this not similar to the way Jews were portrayed as the evil in Germany? And the “black” people in the world? Anyone who is different, for whom we make no attempt to understand.
I seem to have had the misfortune of being born SSA, something which I had no choice over. Does this imply that I was also born evil? Do not all men have the capacity for evil? Why is it that Church’s are not hunting down men who commit adultery against their wives and families? Or those that have free sex with many women, even prostitutes? Or all the men who masturbate and view pornography? What about all the Catholics and Christians who download computer programs, CD’s and DVD’s from the internet? This is theft after all. Somehow being a homosexual is heinous, to be equated with rape or paedophilia.
I am not saying I am perfect, but I am not inherently evil. I have a strong faith in God, and am a very spiritual person. I participate in my church community, and give my time to help anyone who needs it. I have been celibate for a while now. If I am trying, why should anyone look at me differently, and judge me to be evil, or more capable of evil than anyone else?
Ultimately God is the Judge, and he can see into our hearts, and read our minds. He knows what is inside.
I know, I am a person full of love, faith, and tolerance for the diversity of God’s creation. I am human, but I am trying hard, and praying that I can live out the truth and values of my faith.
I am hoping that over time, people will learn, and that the words in the Catechism of the Catholic Church are understood and practiced by all Christians. I hope that bigotry, ignorance, intolerance, hatred and violence towards homosexuality will be replaced with love, compassion, support and understanding. It is a lonely path to walk, and SSA people need all the help we can get.
Homosexuality – Catholic vs Protestant reactions 22 May 2008
Posted by sydcatholic80 in Stories, homosexuality, relationships, same sex attraction.Tags: catechism, catholic, catholic teaching, catholicism, church, conversion, Courage, ex-gay, gay, gay catholic, homosexual, homosexuality, NARTH, personal stories, relationships, religion, SSA
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I know, this is now post number 4 for today. But after speaking to my friend tonight, I felt motivated to write. I apologise if it seems I tar all Protestant churches with same brush; I do not seek to single them out, but rather, I am trying to relate the story of a brother in Christ, and his personal battle with SSA in his Christian life.
I have always thought of all religions to have a hostile stance towards homosexual people, but tonight I realise that the Catholic Church actually has compassion for people with SSA.
In my reading on this topic, I have been made aware of organisations who are there to cure SSA people of their homosexuality and put them on the “straight” path so to speak. These ex-gay organisations use agressive therapy to cure. Some that come to mind are Exodus International, NARTH, Courage.
While these organisations seem well intentioned, I believe they are treading dangerous ground. The jury is not out on what causes SSA, so any applied therapy is at best a stab in the dark, and the possible ramifications of these attempted conversions on SSA persons is unknown. It could cause possible mental, emotional and spiritual damage, and have possible repercussions on future heterosexual partners and families.
I will direct you at this point to have a read of this article on John Heard’s site Dreadnought, which outlines the Catechism relating to homosexuality. John has covered it well so I won’t repeat it all here. But I will pull out some salient points.
“2357 … It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained.”
To date, there is no conclusion as to where SSA originates from. Is it genetic? Nature or Nurture? 2357 shows that the Catholic church acknowledges there is currently no answer, and thus is not attempting to draw conclusions from where no data exists.
“2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.”
“2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.”
These two sections show that the Catholic Church’s acknowledges SSA does exist, and calls for compassion, dignity and respect towards people who are SSA. They call for a life of chastity, but no where are they calling for the SSA person to submit themselves to psychotherapy or other forms of conversion.
My friend comes from the Protestant tradition, and is currently having a hard time from his church. He has experienced what I believe to be terribly un-Christian behaviour. He has been thrown out of a number of churches on suspicion of being homosexual (even though he was not actively seeking a homosexual lifestyle, and from my conversations with him, he has not even participated in a homosexual act to date).
Lately, he has sought counsel from his pastor, and is now being asked to submit to ex-gay therapy for conversion to a “straight” life. And although he has served in a ministry with dignity and the faith of Christ, because he refuses to submit to this therapy, he is now barred from any service in ministry.
I cannot believe this has happened! Jesus came for everyone, not just the virtuous. Judgement is reserved for the Lord God alone, and we are expected to show charity, compassion and mercy to our brothers and sisters on this earth.
This is one area that highlights the differences between Catholic and Protestant traditions. It makes me feel happy that I am a Catholic, and sad that we cannot as Christians unite in living as Jesus taught us.
I will finish with a quote near the end of John’s post, as I feel it gives real hope to SSA Catholics and Christians in knowing that a life lived in celibacy is not necessarily a life sentance of isolation and loneliness:
“Indeed, depending on the strength of one’s will-power (and the Church does not expect men to be perfect, only to try as hard as humanly possible to be so) such a teaching could even leave room for deeply intense, passionate friendships, boyfriends and male with male unions.”
